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Deliver me from reasons why you cry, I'd rather Fly. . .

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Friday, December 9th, 2005
12:09 pm - PROOF!
shut'chyo mouf, beeotch.
You should be Black!

Find Your Inner Race.
brought to you by Quizilla

(3 Needles and Pins | Feel These)

Tuesday, November 15th, 2005
10:48 am - When you cry, you're face is momentary
Mallory is back at the casa, which is Bitchin... I'm glad, and I hope she's happy. But what can you do. it's amazing to see how much people change.

You are "time running." You need water,
yeah, and love, love, love, love! You're a
rocker at heart, and are likely to be found
hanging out with your friends... if your
therapist says it's ok.

which Tegan and Sara song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

current mood: pensive

(3 Needles and Pins | Feel These)

Wednesday, November 9th, 2005
12:24 pm - Give me a Moment
     wow, Packy has been gone for such a long time. I'm worried about her. It's been like a week. And it's weird, you assume someone doesn't want to talk to you and then they do want to talk to you (you think) and then you call.... AND they ran away from home. It doesn't have anything to do with me, but I'm worried now. It's a really long time. I wonder how bad it has gotten when you run away... Thinking about it now, Shit, Theres no way I could be THAT down. yea... I'm not down at all.

If she reads this, She should just call me and tell me shes okay.. I won't rat her out or anything, Yea, I feel bad for the family and everyone worried about her, But I'm just worried about her, and she had to do what she had to do. I just hope that she's okay... and Please just let me know.



This song is Disgusting but I like it...Collapse )

current mood: worried

(2 Needles and Pins | Feel These)

Wednesday, November 2nd, 2005
12:15 pm - I Just Can't Get it Straight You See... and Oh Well.
I am officially a slacker.
And I'm promising to start getting better grades.
The fight to be better people is amazing...

And I went to San Fransisco and it was so beautiful there... <3 Bitchin for real. I could live there. People are stupid, You don't notice the gay people there unless you go looking for them. I can honestly say, I didn't see not one damn Gay person... I just saw a bunch of people.

School is boring.. How do you survive.
TO be accepted into the Peace Corps. you have to have like a college degree and a bunch of stuff. Which makes sense, but what the hell ever happened to just wanting to help out even a little. I'd dig ditches if it meant that I could leave after high school. Wow. It's that or the Military. *Cringe*
Just Kidding... Zero plans are being made as of now.

(The Legacy of Brutality Album is sooo awesome, it has every single one of my favorite Misfits songs on one album practically.)

current mood: bored

(11 Needles and Pins | Feel These)

Wednesday, October 26th, 2005
11:06 am - I like this picture

current mood: cold

(2 Needles and Pins | Feel These)

Tuesday, October 25th, 2005
11:53 am

this city's exhausted and it's wound up,
soon to be a place just filled up



This weekend is Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young... all of them, together again! once in a lifetime thing and I am so happy that I get to see them all together.

current mood: okay

(4 Needles and Pins | Feel These)

Monday, October 24th, 2005
12:30 pm - Don't Move So Slow... Oh

Tegan and Sara man... that's all I've been listening to...

things have started making me think... realistically. And I am wondering,...

Should I sacrifice my dreams for social acceptance ? How is that supposed to work ?


"I wish we didn't have to go about things this way"

It always stays stuck in my head.

current mood: scared

(6 Needles and Pins | Feel These)

Tuesday, October 11th, 2005
12:26 pm - I know, I know, I know

Box after box and you're still by my side
The weather is changing
And breaking my stride
I know, I know, I know
It's just this day


current mood: creative

(4 Needles and Pins | Feel These)

Thursday, October 6th, 2005
11:45 am - Not even Drama, ahh, I'm lame

I miss whatstheirface.. and it's so gay because i want more than anything to say that I'm sorry and that I want to be friends again. But things won't ever be like what they used to be like. And I had a conversation with Ben and I really understood things now... People just move on and thats life. And I'm not afraid to live... so What the hell. But it doesn't change the way I feel I guess. I think what I'm scared of the most is... Not ever seeing Chris again in my life and having to know that my thoughts were ones that I never thought I'd feel about him. Or not ever hearing from Jacobo again and knowing that that's lame-ass.... I miss people. But it's been so long. I don't feel like I miss things, more like... Wondering why their not there. Because I forgot that things changed. Did they Change ? I've already forgotten the things that were bad, and that's hilarious. But whatev.... The memories remain. And all I have to do is remember that That's Life... And I'm not afraid to live.


Meanwhile... I <3 working at the pizza place so much. Damn the man... But being so busy could possibly be the best thing that ever happened to me. Oh, and I've never felt so flattered in my Life... And even thogh bad stuffs still bad and stuff... I'm so glad that I'm seeing now that I really have a future, and it's so beautiful.. .Or in other words "California's Waiting" and everythings gonna be Just Fine.

current mood: Awesome

(10 Needles and Pins | Feel These)

Tuesday, August 30th, 2005
11:28 am - breaking news

so yea... my computer is not hooked up. I'm at school. My first hour of snyders class....

take it easy...

current mood: curious

(3 Needles and Pins | Feel These)

Wednesday, August 24th, 2005
9:32 pm - I can honestly say. Again.

So weird stuff has been happening. And the conclusion someone else came up with for me was that "who cares, you don't need him" and soo.. wow, I've never had to do this, i've thought about it, but when i thought about it I was "heartless". So am I still heartless and "immature" or is it not my doing this time ? I don't know what to say. I especially don't know what to say since everything I say only sounds conveinient to someone else. That sucks, and it hurts really bad. It's like screaming and no one's listening or understanding. But I guess that's just the way of the gun. And before I was called Immature and a child, i really thought I had grown up, and I understood that you overcome things without realizing them. I'm keeping that in mind, even though my immature little mind must be spinning. I might not have discovered myself yet, and i'm not asking anyone to wait while I do that. And I really do think things are a misunderstanding. But i'm not saying i'm not at fault. I usually am. UGH! But now is a good time to start being stubborn where I really need to be stubborn. F em. But at the same time I'm so sorry and I wish we could be friends.... I'm so so sorry.


"sometimes reputations outlive their applications"

current mood: okay

(2 Needles and Pins | Feel These)

Monday, August 15th, 2005
8:50 pm - The World Is Just A Feeling You Undertook.

First day of school today. Which is funny sounding because the last entrys were "School starts in a week" then "School starts on Monday" and Then "School starts tomarrow". And now it has already happened. And it feels like it could already be the last day. But yea it was a good day. I have History, Science, English and Math.. and 2 periods of Photography in the middle. Bitchin!!! It's so cool.

It felt really good though. We just sat at the ledge, and it felt like home really. It was funny though, even though I don't like school, I'm all enthusiastic that every day comes closer to the last day... and I get to be with my friends and wait while it's  "2 years until schools over", Then... ... ...

"Marquee Moon" by Television, is the greatest album ever

current mood: exhausted

(2 Needles and Pins | Feel These)

Sunday, August 14th, 2005
2:41 pm - And nothing else Matters...

so yes, the last day of summer... le sigh....

I didn't know what to do yesterday, and I was really tired because of my little escapades the night before with Liset, that led us to not going to sleep until like 3.30 am. (that sentence is confusing). So yea, Yesterday i started reading The Perks of being A Wallflower... Again. And i almost forgot how much I love that book. (dear god, please never let me forget). It always makes me look at the world differently. Or people differently. And it's sad, but not depressing sad.. Like Nostalgic sad. Thats more, like a wispful thoughtfulness and wondering about life and stuff. But yea, I hung out with Liset again last night. I love talking to her, she's awesome. And I saw my Johnny cakes!!! He's an awesome person too.... Yea, I had some interesting conversations with Andre too, that ordinarily would make me sad/mad, but it didn't make me feel either. But I don't know if I am more mature now and wouldn't let myself feel the way I usually do or If by chance it just worked out this way because my feelings weren't as deep as previous situations like the current one. But it's cool because the point is I feel totally fine, and good. And above all Ready to start something new. Yes!

current mood: grateful

(6 Needles and Pins | Feel These)

Thursday, August 11th, 2005
9:50 pm - the happiness - Brought on by 2 perfectly excellent rolls of film taken and developed! holla!

We Are Not Good People Lefty!

And I do...
Tangerine.. Tangerine..

I feel like Reading, But i want someone to Read to me...

I feel so good though, Damn good. And it's Lasting because I'm stong, We're strong, And we are all in this Together. I feel just Happy.

I. I. I. Everything is about ME or I.. This is about Steven... And God Bless is perverted little heart! Steven is good People.. And he has unofficially given me permission to see The Spill Canvas in BAKO! AND, we're hanging out tomarrow.. That's right.


  • I want to be a good person

current mood: happy

(5 Needles and Pins | Feel These)

Wednesday, August 10th, 2005
4:50 pm - Subbacultcha!

school is starting soon.. OH NO! oh yes though... It's getting boring at home, even though i've been going out and/or doing something everyday this past week. Holla! I've been having fun though. And I watched March of the Penguins, That movie is like comedy! Except for the frozen penguins though. that was sad.

Soy Milk is genius... All Soy Products will Reign!!! I've found a new love, and it's name is Soy. And when I move away (to New Jersey) my home will be stocked floor to celing with whatever is made from Soy. haha.

***I have to know... Did somebody watch the most recent episode of Six feet under.. because ... Damn. it was so intense! ***

"""now we live on the sea and relax and ride the tack
drug running on his panamamian schooner
she walks the deck in a black dress
and me i dress up in black
and we listen to the sea
and look at the sky in a poetic kind of way
what you call it
when you look at the sky in a poetic kind of way
you know when you grope for luna"""


I'm a terrible Photographer... So these are for Running Blind eyes only .. AGAIN!

Oh so all my lovin' go's under the Fog Fog Fog...Collapse )

current mood: creative

(4 Needles and Pins | Feel These)

Wednesday, August 3rd, 2005
7:44 pm - They bring ALL their equipment on the Bus...

Violent Femmes Were AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You cannot F with this Band!!!


yea, yesterday was the best day in the world. Me, Mallory, Darren and Graham ended up going. It was fun.. Just totally chill. We got there at like 3 and walked Sunset until 6.20 and watched Violent Femmes at 7... after we ate at Carneys, and then walked Hollywood Blvd until we left for home. We only made it to Bakersfield though, we were all really tired, so we stayed at my cousins. It was so so so much fun. And the Violent Femmes. They are Amazing. ... I can't explain. Only that... their set was only 30 - 45 minutes long, and the 3 hour trip was totally worth it. I would have drove a 9 hour trip to see them perform only 1 song or something. ... BITCHIN.


I just can't seem to get this song out of my head. It's like Beautiful to me. Even the Yes, I know music isn't the only thing that exsists in this world... But sometimes it doesn't feel that way (slash: yesterday)


Do you remember when
We couldn't put it away?

Do you remember what the music meant?
(To you?) 
(To me?) 
Do you remember what the music meant?

Life's complications and frustrations
They disappear when the music starts playing
I found a place where it feels alright
I heard a record and it opened my eyes

Do you remember when we couldn't put it away?
Do you remember what the music meant?

And nothing else matters
When I turn it up loud
There was the one definitive moment
Well, did it mean it to you?
There was that one definitive moment
When it was something new

Do you remember what the music meant?
And nothing else matters
Yeah nothing else matters
When I turn it up loud
Yeah nothing else matters
When I turn it up loud

current mood: Awesome

(1 Needles and Pins | Feel These)

Sunday, July 31st, 2005
6:05 pm - That Day should have never taken Place

This trip was AWESOME!!! Santa Barbara was waay cool, as always.. We stayed in Carpenteria, and there wasn't a whole lot to do except go to the beach... But I was more than Cool with that! Yes. I had so much fun... aside from this sunburn. Actually, I even love the sunburn! It is the representative of these past couple of days. I liked it so much. And Saturday night... we sat on a corner and played music from the bar across the street and just listened and talking (it was me, Graham and Ryan) The whole trip was joking and just getting along. And Ryan too, I actually got to learn a lot about him. I crashed me, Laura (Grahams neice), and Grahams mom on the Trike!!! we were riding in those 3 people bikes along the beach, and me and laura were petalling and Grahams mom was in the seat in the back. And laura wanted to steer so I let her and I was petalling as fast as I could. and she lost controll and started screaming! so I crabed the wheel and it jerked and we skid straight into a pole and flipped over! it was insane! hahaha. laura and grahams mom were all sprawled out on the ground and I was all hanging over the bars of the trike. Thank God no one was hurt. But it was the funniest experience of my entire life! I still can't stop laughing.  Oh, and we saw this big beautiful tree, and I fell in love.. It was the most beautiful tree I've ever seen.


This Day in my life, Still I cannot Explain...

current mood: Awesome

(2 Needles and Pins | Feel These)

Wednesday, July 27th, 2005
6:51 pm - Tearin me apart...

soo, I got to go school shopping today.. And i bought some clothes. It was fun. I'm tired though, and it sucks because i'm usually never tired. Or tired in this way I feel tired. not so much tired, but Tuckered Out for sure... We're supposed to go see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory today... Awesome! ok... and I'm not trying to kill the buzz... But Johnny Depp looks so much like a pedifile in this movie... yet i'm really excited to see what this is going to be like.


Could you show me dear, something I've not seen?
Something infinitely interesting


And so I'm feeling something between Ani Difranco "Joyful Girl" and "Echo" by Incubus (but without the words) Because that song is just way too sweet for me.

Woah, what the hellCollapse )

current mood: Tuckered Out!

(3 Needles and Pins | Feel These)

Sunday, July 24th, 2005
4:44 pm - wowza

last night was insane... whew but yea, i hung out with andre and steven... it was really fun and andre is AWESOME! I just hope i'm doing good, I talked with Liset and she had some idea about what I should not do, but I totally feel supported, and i'm pretty happy. But I can't shake that horrible person feeling. It makes me think of Middlesex and

 "Lefty, We are not good people"

but I still do love Pedro the Lion... after all this time, They have yet to make a song I didn't like. And this one kind of hugs the moment so... Oh, and the song is called Penetration... haha

"Because if it isn't making dollars
Then it isn't making sense
If you aren't a moving unit
Then you're not worth the expense
If you really want to make it
You had best remember this:
If it isn't penetration
Then it isn't worth a kiss"

current mood: contemplative

(3 Needles and Pins | Feel These)

Tuesday, July 19th, 2005
7:32 pm

I had an awesome time camping... I'm just so proud of all my friends that I went with... I was talking about it, and i think if i lost being friends with all these people, i would have f-ed up real bad...


I can't get that song Packy got in my head out...


2 Cuts! Holla!



Campin'Collapse )


"I can honestly say"..... That this song really sucks



All Hail the Heartbreakers!!!!Collapse )

current mood: Peaceful & Proud

(6 Needles and Pins | Feel These)

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